Side Stories for Horizons (Eteru/Richard/Melon)

Side Story: To Move On I

Location: Avalantus

Time: 4750 LLY, Sometime between the Abandoned Facility and the Museum

“I’ve always disliked cities.” Lincoln commented. Walking down an empty street that doesn’t seem to get much traffic. Nor much attention even. The road was somewhat riddled with cracks. A pothole here and there. Buildings line on both sides of it. Urban decay is a bit visible here. They seem to be going through an old section of the city. Which they wanted to be off the unbeaten path.

Assassin was still in her astral form, albeit did some modification to her attire to fit the local culture. Switching her kimono for black pants, undershirt, and gloves. She was walking close to him. Her grey eyes were sharp, paying attention to different things than he was.

“I can understand what you mean.” She says softly. Taking a glance to the boarded up windows of stores long closed down. “You don’t like to see so much rot in one place.” Just like that she pointed out the core of his feelings toward it. He can enjoy the city life, had a few times before, but he can’t imagine living in it. Especially in a city with a dense population.

He doesn’t have one reason for it. It was a culmination of little things that spark melancholy in his chest. Akin to how urban explorers feel when they go to abandoned places. Much like the facility he had been in awhile back. It could also be a bit of a bias as a result of growing up in the suburbs. That was a possibility.

“For sure, although it does seem they don’t leave things sitting derelict for too long.” He notes. Seeing some scaffolding around a few buildings. Likely for renovation. One thing that surprised him was how fairly clean the alleyways were saved for the usual graffiti. “But that in itself is a bit sad to me. I can’t help but wonder how many times the place has been renovated or outright rebuilt. Burying everything that came before it.”

“Heh.” Assassin gave a light laugh. “Starting to sound like my people, Master.” She joked but with understanding. Referring to how people in her homeland went from being spiritual farmers to being herded into an urban jungle in less than a century. Not that she was born in that era. Unlike Lincoln she didn’t mind an urban environment.

“I suppose so. I wouldn’t enjoy such a radical change under normal circumstances.” Looking back he realized that he was a bit unaware of how much even his own hometown was changing, due to obvious reasons. The old bank had been torn down, Burpin' Burger had been completely rebuilt, he could go on. He couldn’t imagine living in her people’s shoes back then. No wonder they were so depressed in his time.

“Like I said to you a long time ago, that’s how living is, Master.” She said, Showing her form of intimacy by setting her hand on the back of his head. Even if she was in an astral body he could still feel the presence of it. “Eras come and go. It’s okay to be nostalgic, but don’t let it trap you in the past.” He smiled at her words. While it was something spoken to him many times. It never hurts to be reminded of it.

“Thanks, Shiki.” She was right. It was just a challenge for him to not spend so much time mulling on the past. Once he starts to think about what could have been, should have been. It is a quick way for him to relapse into a depressive episode.

Looking at the high rises behind the buildings he was reminded of something. “That’s right, I won’t get a chance to meet your living self.” Assassin was a modern Servant. Meaning she was summoned from the Throne while her living self was still very much alive. She was born decades before he was. When time was last running normally he was nineteen, that would have put her in her early forties. Assassin was summoned in a period of her life when she was still doing the family business before retiring in her early twenties.

“That’s a shame.” She agrees, sporting her usual stoic expression. Although he could tell that she was equally bummed out about it. “We even talked about it more before that last Lostbelt.” Where they and the others had a conversation of what he would do with himself after everything hopefully went back to normal. She closed her eyes, her hands now in her pockets. “Haah, I was looking forward to it. My living self would have appreciated her daughter being with you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Knowing what she was implying. “She was about six years older than me. Last I recall she was a year or so out of college.” He said. It was during that short year between the crises that they really planned for his life after Chaldea. Before, she had told him to come to her house if he lost his house or didn’t want to stay there anymore, saying her family would hire him as an assistant. And that was generally something that he was interested in at the time.

“That she was.” She opened her grey eyes. Giving him a teasing look. “You two would have gotten along well I feel.” He gave a light blush at what she was implying. Wasn’t incorrect of course. Even at her age, Mana, her living self’s daughter still had an obsession over her father. If he came into the picture he would have gotten Mana addicted to someone else. That being himself. Assassin then gave an amused tune. “Of course, since my Master is such a homewrecker, no doubt you would have loved being with my living self as well.”

It was a joke he knew, but he couldn’t help but get flustered over it. “Y-You know I don’t go that far!” He pouts. Yes, he was brazen. But he liked to not make messes. Much like how he made sure that no one saw him making love to Ialla in front of them. “I would have ensured they stayed together. All I needed to do was make them accept my spot in their home. So by technicality I’m not a homewrecker by definition.” It’s dubious he admits. But the mental image of having sex with Mana laying on top of her mother. Both nude and glistening with sweat, turned him on, and he wanted that very much.

Assassin gave a soft laugh. “You do have some tact, I’ll admit.” Silence hung in the air for a few seconds before she spoke again. “That said, you’re still alive, Master. I know my living self because she’s me, no matter the age difference. And I know that I would have wanted you to live.” Her words certainly reached him. The effect was amplified when he saw the skyscrapers in the distance. The metal and glass reflecting the sunlight off of it. A feeling of sonder came to him.

Life goes on, as it always will. Some marry, some serve their country, some fall in love, and some die. The story of life is written one chapter at a time, and while characters come and go, the story continues. It repeats itself again and again and again as new characters jump in and drop off, but it will never stop as long as there remains an author to write it.

Every family had produced many authors and would produce many more in the decades and generations to come. Their stories wouldn't be so different from those of their forefathers, for while times, language, and culture may change, the nature of life does not. They all love, they all know sorrow and joy. They always have, and they always will.

Therefore, he knew that the Hoshizoran story of Lincoln Loud can’t begin if he doesn’t step forward. He gave a warm smile to his servant, “Thank you again.” He wanted to kiss her but alas that would require her to materialize. And he still wanted to keep her presence hidden. Looks like he has much to reward her when they get to his ship after this. Strange, for a moment he felt a sense of deja vu. Oh well.

He ran his hand through his hair. It was getting a bit windy. “To look at the sunny side, I don’t have to adapt to your home country.” That got an amused chuckle out of her. “Still, I was looking forward to it.” Mostly helping out with her living self’s husband, Mikiya who has a history of investigating disappearances. Aiding him in that endeavor appealed to him. Something which would put his acquired skills to good use and would had fulfilled a old, near-forgotten childhood dream of his to be like his favorite comic book superhero Ace Savvy,

Assassin gave a tune in agreement. “He would have loved your help. That said, does that still interest you now? Playing the detective I mean.” She asks him. A similar question was given to him before. Back then he didn’t think much of it because he wasn’t truly thinking about having a future in the first place. But now…

“I don’t know, I suppose it does in a way. It would fall in line with the role I’m building for myself in Ialla’s House.” That being to stand behind the future Kell acting harmless and eccentric while acting outside of the limelight. Operate what could be anything really. Solving disappearances would give him clout and resources. Both of which are a necessity given he had got himself on the political game board.

“It would be low on my list of priorities.” He had a greater degree of responsibilities than he would have back home. “All things considered, it’ll just be best to work for my life coach for a while.” There was a feeling that Tulam was the type to keep to himself on a planet to focus on his research. Spending time with him would not only get the help he needs, but it would solidify his image of being harmless in the House if he doesn’t do much on that end. Just some quirky mage going off to do field research somewhere for periods of time. He felt satisfied with that idea for the time being.

A 8-Bit chime rang out of a holographic billboard near on the other side of him. He glanced over in time to see an astral stream of data leaping out of it. Landing next to him it formed into the human shape of MoonCancer who gave a warm smile to. “Welcome back.” She gave a warm smile back. His smile was a reward all on its own. The gang reunited, they all continued on their way towards the museum.

Side Story: To Move On II

Location: Station 3 - Hallway leading to Elevator

Time: 4750 LLY

The rhythmic beat of his steps gave a small echo in the hallway he’s walking down in. Heading towards the elevator that would take him down a few levels below where the laboratory lies. There he will begin being instructed by Tulam’Run on how to help start rebuilding his body and who knows what else he has in store for him. His thoughts began to wander to a different subject that was resting in the back of his mind.

The situation with Nilana’Ran. He had gotten off on the wrong foot with her. But he knew the folly in even thinking that it would be a simple manner. Nilana’Ran very much reminds him of stories of colossal, prideful goddesses lounging on their pedestal. Looking down at the meager ants as they covet her. Offering the divine being clumps of hard matter as if it has value to a being who is infinite.

Most of all he knew that she wanted to see him squirm. To see just how much he’s willing to dig the blade into himself. Did he want to go that far? Was any semblance of a relationship with her that doesn’t involve his untimely death something he wanted? When did he even begin considering it? He trusts what Tulam’Run had told him about her. Despite that, deep down something told him that while it would be painful. There’s merit in interacting with her. Knowing that then he still doesn’t know of a way to appease her.

“Why not give her one of your Servants?”

He came to an abrupt stop. Finally sensing that Shiki was behind him. Leaning against the wall with her arms folded over her chest. Those words left him at a loss. At first he thought he didn’t hear her right. To just suggest something like that so casually. “W...what?” He didn’t turn to face her. It left him so bewildered.

“Master.” She began calmly. “Do you know why I was persistent in ensuring that you would have gone to live with my living self?” The question unsettled him. Once more he could feel the truth creeping around his neck. But he refused to acknowledge it. Whether it was intentionally or not. Once in a blue moon, he would question if he had grown up at all.

Lincoln chose to dance around it. “To give me a place to start a life outside of Chaldea.” How strange. For once those words felt hollow. As if it had become a lie. To suggest that the possibility was something he could grasp with his hand. The fact that he could ever live a normal life again.

He heard her give a sigh. “You know that I dislike people who know their true nature, yet still lie to themselves.” Her words made him grit his teeth. “Master, you’ve forgotten again haven’t you?” The peculiar question made him finally turn around. This time Shiki was standing in the hallway facing him. Hands in her pocket.

“Forgotten...what?” He didn’t like where this was going. Yet his feet were rooted in place. A part of him refused her words to go unheard. For he needed to hear it. He looked at her face. She was stoic as always.

“The nature of a Servant existence.” She spoke as if that explained everything.

He furrowed his white brow. “I know what a Servant is.”

“Do you?” She inquired. Tilting her head. Silence hung in the air for three seconds before she spoke again. “I’m a special case myself. Considering I walk when my living self did for a time. I came to be when the rest of the world burned, my city had been reduced to ruins along with its inhabitants. I’m dead, but not quite, my body burned but not yet completely burnt away. I exist in a state right before dying, asleep and seeing a dream that became the apartments seen in the Singularity that you went to, the Throne reverting me back to a younger age. When I was summoned again to Chaldea afterwards, I knew that my very existence is nothing more than a dream, but if I were to wake up I would have died along with everyone else in the city. When Goetia fell and everything turned to normal. Because I’m a proper Servant, it meant that the real me was able to wake up without any issue.”

The meaning of her words loomed over him. They were heavy. Making his face wrinkle in unease. He knew that she was right. That truth was buried in his mind because he made it so. Shiki's face softened, her eyes held sympathy for him. “I wanted you to go meet me because I hoped that you would finally wake up from the dream you clung to for far too long.”

He heard the implication in her words. “Why couldn’t you stay with me?” For some reason he distinctly pictured himself as a young child in front of her. Not comprehending why she couldn’t come with him. Was he being childish?

“You know the answer to that.” He made no response to that. “We can’t value the past more than the present. I want you to be with me, the real me. One of flesh and bone. Someone you can grow old with. Most of all she can change.”

She zipped open her jacket. Tugging it open with one hand to show her bare upper body. His eyes were drawn to the dimly glowing seal he made over her womb. Knowing that it was what Shiki wanted him to look at. “The only reason I can feel any emotion outside of love is because you changed my Saint Graph. Otherwise it would have been impossible, a contradiction so great that it would have cracked my Saint Graph. Likely destroying me in the process.”

He knew that. it was fundamentally impossible for her to have emotions due to her Origin, Nothingness. That was why he did it. But that isn’t the point here. One that Shiki was coming to. “Much like how I’m fleeting, so are Servants. We weren’t meant to walk alongside you for so long. And it shows how we are incapable of change. Servants by nature are a stagnant existence. We can never grow in any shape because that is not our purpose. No matter how much sentimentality you have for us. At the end of the day we are nothing more than shades of the past.” Shiki closed her jacket back up.

He was reminded of what Canaan told him so long ago. How the dead can’t rule the living. At first he thought he understood what it meant but it actually held more meanings than he thought. She was also saying that he can’t forsake the future to live in the past. Lincoln didn’t realize that his hands were tightly clenched.

Putting her hands back in her pockets she looked at him, “I wanted you to outgrow me. To live in the present with the real me. Rather than indulging in a pleasant dream. To put it bluntly, you needed to let me go. Let the dream fade away as all dreams do. We iall wanted you to let us go.” Her words made him widen his eyes in surprise. Never knowing that so many apparently felt the same way as Shiki did.

“Hmph, of course. It would sting. More so than much. Some would likely throw a tantrum. But deep down we are aware of our nature. In the end we would come to only feel one thing, gratitude.” At first he didn’t understand what she meant but it became clear to him on its own as Shiki talked. “By letting us go, you honor us by walking into the future. To take the opportunities that surround you. Because that is something we can’t ever have.” For they’re dead.

Tension left his body. How could he possibly refute that? And yet he feels so torn inside. Shiki let out a sigh. “I don’t fault you for being hesitant. You did spend many years being surrounded by the dead. For a long time we were all you had. But...Master. That is not the case anymore. You need to move on.”

“I...don’t know how.” His voice wavered. Shiki was asking for a lot out of him. In a long while he never felt so vulnerable. So exposed like this. Was he really a fool to have thought he could live a life surrounded by his Servants? Of course he was. The truth was too painful to ignore now.

“Take small steps.” She spoke gently. “The situation with Nilana’Ran provides a good opportunity to start getting used to it. Think of a Servant that she would like then give it to her.” On one hand he agreed with her. It just would be a hard moment. Yet having thought that. His inner turmoil is something that Nilana’Ran seems to take delight in. Furthermore, it would serve as a good offering to her.

He gave a strained sigh. Turning back around to face the elevator. “I’ll think about it.” He said with forlorn. Before he continued walking he spoke one last thing over his shoulder. “Thank you though, for helping me with this.”

“That’s my purpose.” She said simply before dematerializing as he walked towards the elevator. This conversation will likely rest on his mind for a while. For now he just needs to put it aside to focus on the tasks in the day ahead. Tulam wouldn’t like it if he was distracted.

Side Story: To Move On III

Location: Station 3 - Lincoln’s Bedroom

Time: 4750 LLY

Lincoln laid in bed wide awake. It has been a few days since the preparations began. He should be going to sleep. Yet the touch of slumber eludes him. Leaving him to his rather busy thoughts. To contemplate on relevant matters. The memory of his discussion with Nilana’Ran continues to replay in his head.

Think about what you want.

For Lincoln, he was no stranger to keeping himself awake with existential questions such as this. So it was a given that he would do exactly that. Staring at his ceiling, his mind drifted to a story that was similar to another long ago.

There was a prisoner inside the cave. The prisoner was tied up so that he could only see the cave’s inner wall. Only the shadows projected from the entrance showed him a glimpse of the world. Then one day the prisoner was released from his chains. And he saw the world outside for the first time.

What happened to the prisoner who discovered the world outside the cave? The more the prisoner learned about the world, he’s racked with questions. What is he at the end? What did he discover? Where are we all headed? Where do we go? The prisoner sees the horror of life. And he becomes overtaken with bleeker thoughts. Why is the world filled with pain and suffering? Why does life meaninglessly expire? What is the meaning of existence?

What is the prisoner?

Lincoln knows the answer to prisoner woes. Or rather, his own take on it. For there wasn’t some universal truth to the secrets of the universe. Like the prisoner, he was trapped by those same thoughts in that period of five years after that night.

He can still vividly recall those days and nights. Where everything turned monochrome. Anything he ate tasted like dirt. His Grandfather, bless his soul, did everything he could to ensure he was okay. He knew that Pops didn’t like the fact that the both of them were living in his house. But couldn’t bring himself to take his grandson away from the last link to this family. And neither could he.

Pops never caught on to the fact that he spent too many nights sitting in that hallway. For hours. Looking back, he was surprised that he didn’t go completely insane by what he had put himself through. He heard of studies where they put people in cocoons for a few hours and in the end they come out crazy. In those long nights, he could understand why. The nothingness, the silence, was maddening.  It got so bad that he started to have hallucinatory episodes. Some were small, where he thought he heard a faint whisper. Or movement behind one of their doors. Then there were bad ones, really bad ones.

He couldn’t comprehend how the rooms could be empty. How the once, well, loud house can be so quiet. It was the antithesis to his entire life. A contradiction to how he once saw the world. The emptiness was suffocating. It was colder than the snow he felt on that night. His perception of time became off. He was a mess.

His social life went down the toilet. Not many knew how to interact with someone who went through such a tragic loss. His best friend, Clyde, still remained friends with him if a bit nervous around him. He often vouches for his personal therapist as someone that Lincoln should go see, at least have a small talk with her. But at the time, he felt like no one could understand him. He just wanted to be left alone.

One day, he got a call from a distraught Ronnie, one of his remaining friends, who informed him that her elder brother Bobby, former boyfriend to Lori, had hung himself. And she was the one to find him. He didn’t know how to feel at the news. He felt strange. Memories of Bobby in happier times flew by his vision. Followed by the image of his silhouette hanging from the ceiling.

Suicide.

The idea never crossed his mind. Now that it did, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was always introspective, even in his darkest hours, so while the necklace of hope was seductive. He was terrified of the uncertainty. Of the unknown that exists when life dies. He rather be driven mad by his own grief than potentially damning himself to true nothingness. At least the pain still told him that he can still feel.

Like the prisoner, he would ask himself a question on some nights. What was he now? He couldn’t come to any answer no matter how hard he tried. All that was left were the memories. It was a miracle that he managed to have good grades when he went through his High School years like a ghost. No doubt that some of the teachers took pity on him. Not that he could blame them. He was brought to have sessions with the school counselor. She did all she could for him but nothing reached him.

He sometimes wonders what his life would have been if everything went normal after his High School years. How long would he have drifted through life? He knew that there was no point in thinking about such ‘What if’ questions. But he couldn’t help it. Especially when he’s now more aware of the wider aspects of creation. Would he have found some sort of purpose? Or would he have lived out the rest of his life in a grey world?

Now, he knows that he has to be the one to give himself a purpose. To define what his existence means in this grand universe. As he laid there on that bed he pondered upon that thought. Who shall he be in Hoshizora? Sure, he will become a person who travels across the great sea of stars. Experience all of which the cosmos has to offer. But that’s a hobby. A pleasure. Who will the masses see when they look at him?

The result of all those years. Were the words that came to him. It resonated with him before in that fight with Vixgor. And it continues to do so now. For up till a couple of days ago, he saw himself as a Beast. A great evil of humanity. An existence that shouldn’t walk among the mundane. A blackened creature of the moonlit world. He had brought the end to worlds. Denied the wishes of many.

However, he had been brought to acknowledge the fact that his deeds don't define him. That he’s falling into the trap that he ‘can’t ever change’ and ‘always broken’. So he began to refrain from painting himself in such a dreary light and instead questioned why he became a Beast. What was the context for his actions?

The more he reflects and reads through his travel journal. The more he began to remember the big picture.  Of all the lessons he was freely given.

A friend showed him how important it was to be willing to put others before themselves. A friend showed him how important the past was, and to always do things with a smile. A friend had always known that chasing a dream mattered more than how your life ended. A friend taught him how to fight. And in the end, maybe knowing how to fight for the things he loves was the most important thing he learned.

A friend showed him that trying to save the world was insane. It was still worth doing anyways. A friend reminded him about what ordinary humans could do, that their will and life mattered. A friend stood tall in the face of the destruction of his people, and he never once stopped fighting.

He could go on all day of everything that was given to him, while some could not be taken, they all have value in them. It helped him find a new sense of purpose in life. Then, there was the moment at the Temple of Time. Everyone around him had sacrificed so much, clinging to the same belief, whether they knew it or not. Goetia claimed that every life ended in suffering, if it wasn’t already filled with it. There was a time in his life that he would have agreed with Goetia. That life was nothing but despair. But, he said no. Human suffering doesn’t define life. It’s happiness that defines them. And like the other Servants who had been pulled across space and time to fight for humanity solely because of their bonds to him, they fought to prove it.

And they were right.

Afterward, he was finally able to go back home, the world woke up after several years of being dead, and he lived happily ever after. But then the Pseudo Signularities arose. What was he left with after them was a lot less uplifting than the ones he learned before. Good and evil were just tools. Means to an end, and not goals in and of themselves. He learned not to trust the stories he was told. Stories have power, and it was easy for it to mislead others. Again, he could go on of all that shaped him over the years.

Then the Lostbelts happened. There he truly felt the flames of war left marks on him. Where he was pushed to see how much he’s willing to sacrifice to achieve his desired outcome. That nothing will impede his trajectory and will trample upon the banners of his enemies. So, with all of this in mind, how does this transition into a life in Hoshizora? What is the goal for the Man with a Plan?

The answer took time to come into focus in his mind. He will simply live as he always had. To be someone free from the constraints of society by doing whatever he pleases. Basically, he’s going to enjoy life. By traveling with Nilana’Ran, he will learn how to be a free-spirit again. To feel enjoyment in just doing what he desires. Create life, taste alien food, tour famous wonders, experience the entertainment industry, and most of all. Have fun making love with another again.

The last one is something he feels that he will be indulging in a lot. Already he’s starting to feel himself changing since the start of the lessons and meditations. Of being free from the weight of the past. In short, he’s genuinely starting to feel lustful and not for distraction. No, he has the itch to put someone into a mating press to put it bluntly. Having been aware of finding himself being horny again, he was also aware of the fact that the Psions in the station are going to give him contradictory messages on how to control his carnal desires.

The fact he can’t have either of his Servants in his bedroom was starting to feel a bit stressful now. God, he especially wants to bring Shiki in here. To hold her flush to his form as he fucks her with greater and greater force. He would have had too much fun dragging reaction after reaction from Shiki. To rail her senselessly to make her eyes roll up in her head and her tongue loll out of her mouth. But alas, he’s now allowed to engage in perverse activities.

Unsurprisingly, Nilana’Ran was very much aware of his sexual reawakening. While she couldn’t do much to him since Tulam’Run was there with the metaphorical bonk stick. She started to have fun with her new slave Raikou. And he, being someone who enjoys the sight of lesbian sex between two mature women, was very much aroused. Sigh, those were annoying moments.

While Nilana’Ran was good furry bait, he kept things chill when interacting with her. For the most part. Sure, he has no thoughts at all involving having sex with the Psion. However, he’s starting to remember that physical intimacy is not wholly explicit. He wants to touch her in a non-lewd way. To run his hand over her sides and back. Play with her fluffy tails. Cuddle her even.

Fortunately he was wise enough to not give into his desire. It’s a shame that she’s likely very aware of it now. If there was one question that he had at the end of all of this. Why were strong, dominant, dangerous women so attractive? Nilana’Ran reminded him of a bit of a game he played where the game had a caste with a vampire family living in it. There was a nine feet tall vampire woman and her three daughters. He didn’t feel fear in that section, only arousal. Especially when the daughters were gouging on the player’s character's neck. He knows they’re all dangerous and yet he wanted to fuck them.

Granted, it helped that they weren’t real so his life wasn’t ever in danger. Nilana’Ran on the other hand, is very much real. Still doesn’t stop him from having thought of wanting to lay his hands of her. Sucky thing is that he knew that there will be a price for a chance at brushing rights.

The uncertainty of his life expectancy aside. All of this introspection was finally starting to make him feel sleepy. He felt that he was getting somewhere with all this soul searching. At the end of all of the preparations, he knows that he will be one step closer to actualization. With that optimistic thought, he closed his eyes to let himself drift to sleep.

Side Story: The Reawakening of the Flesh

Location: Station 3 - Lincoln’s Bedroom

Time: 4750 LLY

It has been a bipolar week to say the least. He was laying in bed drenched in sweat. Resting for a bit before forcing himself to take a show before going to sleep. Tomorrow was the big day after all.

He took a heavy sigh.

What a week it had been.

The first day was spent getting him to finally move past everything. In hindsight, that was the easiest day for him. The previous few days before that he was getting around to getting himself prepared for that moment.

The most notable moment on that day was during his mediation session.

He was at a treeline in winter. The moon hung high above him. Alone in the perfect void. There was no falling snow. Not even the ghostly brushes of the winter breeze. All there was stillness. Silence.

Above his head. Was the ghostly ring of seven floating fangs. It made him look as if he had horns. Which they were. They softly emit a beguiling glow of energy.

Once upon a time not long ago, it was heavy. The crown was a symbol. A dark mark upon his soul. It was the Crown of the Beast. During the Lostbelt War, it manifested from the fear that his enemies had in him.

It meant that he possessed the characteristics of a Beast but had yet to fully ascend to the position, making him a Juvenile Beast. Beasts are composed of the Evils of Humanity. Pity, Comparison, Regression, Shame, Treasuring.

In hindsight, he found it a bit humorous that his crown wasn't three horns. The number that signifies the Beast of Lust, Depravity, and Pleasure.

But no, instead he bore the number of seven. The Beast that announces the End. It made sense that this would be the Sin that he was marked with.

The Sin of Grief.

He recalled the moments after the Alien God was killed. Where he was left with only the Beast of the End for company. As one can easily deduce, he wasn’t with anyone else. He was referring to himself. In the end, all he had left was the weight of his actions.

Since then, he let himself be trapped beneath the weight of the crown. It was only through the interactions with the Psions that he came to understand something. The Crown can’t define who he is. The choice falls squarely on him to define the meaning of the Crown in spite of what it stands for.

Thus, he’ll never become a fully fledged Beast in all it’s calamitous might.

Because he decided as such.

That part of him is now resolved. He stared forth into the woods. Knowing the next step in fully letting things go. In his hand he carried a lantern. Its flame dances within the glass.

He walked forth into the silent woods.

For the first time since that night. The woods were empty. The shadows don’t seem to chew on the glow of the lantern. The branches didn’t curl into cruel limbs. The trees stood there, silent. There weren’t even trees in his path as if they stepped to the side to give him passage.

The ambience was akin to a funeral. For that is what this is.

Soon enough he stopped before a very large tree. The lantern illuminated the thick roots around it. There was a gap in the middle. A rather large burrow. In the darkness he could see a pair of eyes catching the light of the lantern.

His young face and body was matted with dried blood. He sat there, looking at him with such an expression that didn’t belong to a child. In his arms he cradled disembodied legs in ruined, purple pajamas.

Lincoln gave a silent stare.

Then, he threw the lantern into the burrow.

The perfect silence was broken by the fire and wind. Flames roared upward around the tree. Within the inferno he could make out the screams. But he turned away. And started to walk out of the woods.

For every step he took the flames jumped from tree to tree. Cracks could be heard around him as the woods became overtaken by the spreading blaze. By the time he strode out into the endless field of snow, the entire treeline behind him was on fire.

Then in a moment of surrealism. The entire treeline collapsed as the ground gave way to bursts of blood. Aside from the stretch of path before him. Blood began to pool up from the snow on both sides. The ground behind him would crumple into blood.

The moon transitioned into a sun. The black melted away around it. Revealing the azure radiance of the sky. The cold that once held on the air around home was instead replaced with warmth.

He walked along enough until all that was around him was a shimmering sea of blood. Then in the distance he saw that the trail ended on a raised, circular platform made out of bone. The moment he stepped onto it. The last of the ground behind him gave away beneath the crimson.

Coming to the center he sat down.

And he looked up into the cerulean sky above.

Once in a long time. He finally felt at peace with himself.

The change in him felt like night and day when he opened his eyes to the real world. There was no longer a sense of a heavy coat weighing down on his bones. He felt…

Free.

It was the day after that he started to experience the rest of the change. Or rather, a reawakening of a side of him that has been buried away. But now it came back now that he was no longer fixated on the past. No longer blind to the world around him.

In the simplest of terms, he was properly desiring physical intimacy again. And Overlord Nilana’Ran picked up on that in a heartbeat. No doubt it brought her amusement seeing him become ever so reacting more to her gestures.

Now, he didn’t desire her in any sexual way. He knew better than to touch the Danger Fox. Of course, physical intimacy did not just meant the sexual kind as he’s very much reminded of.

He desired to groom her. Pet her, brush her fur, fluff her tails, file her nails. He always enjoyed that sort of activity. It felt relaxing and cathartic.

He knew better to not offer her that. And Nilana’Ran no doubt saw the opportunity to prod him. Tease him. Much like that second and third day when she wore a backless outfit. Showing off all of her wonderful back muscles beneath a thin pelt of fur that is no doubt very soft to touch.

Of course she snooped through his mind and found his back feitsh.

Stupid.

Sexy.

Psion.

No. He knew better to not blame her. Even if she might be doing it on purpose. It always bothered him when men blame women for seducing them because of how they acted or what they wore. When in reality the fault completely lies on the men for blaming someone else for their own lustful emotions.

Meaning the only one he can be mad at is himself for being affected by her.

He spent that day adjusting to the new him.

The day after that was essentially conditioning his pain tolerance. It was going well. The Caretaker was told to punch him in the chest and he was told to not flinch.

It only went on a minute before he got a bright red handprint across the side of his face.

The Caretaker didn’t like how he was starting to enjoy it a bit too much.

He’s such a sexual deviant.

Rightfully so, Tulam had her fire non-lethal rounds from a gun at him instead.

The masochistic tendencies aside. He was told to use his spare time productively.

One of the things he thought of to get his pain tolerance back up was replaying a certain memory. Naturally it’ll have to be all in his mind. Ada was called to his room to tell her to make him mentally experience that memory again in all it’s vivid sensations.

Not too much since he knew that would be dangerous.

Since that day, he has been replaying that simulation when he was in that cave so long ago.

He was up against the rough wall of the cave. There was a campfire in front of him. His ankle was patched up.

Standing in the glow of the campfire was Shuten.

But it wasn’t his Shuten from Chaldea.

“Oh, good morning. You’re awake now, mmm? Try no to move, would you? You sprained your ankle when you took a tumble. It looks so terribly painful.”

He could remember falling down the mountain when he was struck by the tail of a giant serpent.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s still night.The sun hasn’t risen yet…Oooh, don’t be afraid. Fufu. We can cozy up a bit and be friends, can’t we? I just felt like doing this, you know. I was hanging around the peak until Kalasutra kicked me off. And wouldn’t you know, while I was walking around, so dreadfully bored and wishing I had a kid of my own to eat, lo and behold, you dropped right into my lap.”

Her lithe form came close to him. The purple of her attire was soft in the campfire. Her pale, peerless flesh seems to softly glow. Yet it could hardly conceal the fact that she was anything but human.

“First I was going to just…eat. You. Up. But then I thought…what’s the point of a living human if I can’t make them squirm a bit? That way I get dinner and a show…Hehe, I’m just kidding. Relax, If I was just going to eat you, I wouldn’t have patched up that poor widdle ankle of yours.”

With the grace of a feline built to hunt. She looms over him. He could remember the fragrance off of her body.

“These sorts of chances don’t come along every day, you know. We should enjoy this while we can. Would you like a drink, sweetie? It’s the height of elegance to share a drink before we get down to it, don’t you think? Aaah, even in death, I’m still an Oni. I don’t know much about Heroic Spirits, all I know is that I'm still an oni. And the thing about Oni is we take what we want, we violate what or who we please, but sometimes we show a bit of love for others when the mood strikes us. We even smile, when we want, we destroy and consume whatever we wish.”

His body shuddered beneath her presence. She was smaller than him, yet he felt like a mouse beneath the paw of a playful cat. She laid her slender hand on his shoulder. It was soft yet he knew that she could crush his shoulder as if it were wet clay if she felt like it.

“That’s who we are, sweetie. It’s what e~everyone is so terrified of. You’ve read the stories about us, right? We are such wild, e~evil creatures. E~everone’s sooo scared of us, and e~everyone hates us. But I don’t mind. Sometimes, we do have an urge to just…go wild. It’s just who we are.”

Goosebumps rose along his neck when she breathed on his cheek.

“I’m in a good mood right now. I’m feeling…generous. Normally, I’d never bother to patch up the leader of an enemy I’m about to fight. Sooo straaange, mmm? Oh I can just hear her now, yelling about how I’ve gone crazy, Ehehehe. Of course I'm crazy!”

They chat for a minute. She semi-laid on top of him. The air was warm, Yet he was always aware of the fact that the petite woman on him wasn’t human.

“So sweetie, why are you so comfortable around me?”

The truth left his lips before he could consider it. “I know…another version of you.”

“Hmm, is that so? I knew there was something different about you.”

Then the air changed ever so slightly. It was still sensual yet it was no longer soft. She lifted herself up, kneeling so close that he could feel her legs. Her hand hiked his shirt up. Revealing his abdomen muscles.

“...Well then, why don’t we try this? This will be for all the marbles, sweetie.”

Then there was pain.

“Now, now, don’t try to move. Yeess, just stay nice and still.”

The sound of wet, squelching flesh filled his ears.

“There’s a good boy~. Don’t move. No, no, I won’t hurt you. We’re friends now, right?”

Wet heat ran down his bottom.

“Just relax, sweetie. Everything’s fine. Here. Feel my hand? It’s soo cold, isn’t it?”

He could see her hand become slathered with crimson fluid.

“Oooh, shhh, shhh…I know, I know. It hurts so bad having me tear a hole in your stomach. Shh..Believe me. I know, I’ve been there. It used to happen so much more often than I’d have liked. That’s what humans and oni do. Kill each other, tear at each other, rip each other apart…”

Every micromovement brought pain.

“There you go. Hang on, sweetie. That’s it. Just grit your teeth and bear it. Lie back and think of Chaldea. Now what were those called again? Magical…something? Ah, yes! Magical circuits. I’m just going to play with yours a little. So bear with me, okay? There’s a good boy.”

A loud snap bounced off the cragged rock walls.

“Oops! Silly me, that was a bone. Now, now, nothing to worry about. Oooh, I know it hurts, doesn’t? You can cry if you want to, sweetie. Bawl your eyes out~. That helps with the pain, right~?”

He didn’t realize he was gasping in pain until she clamped her other hand over his mouth. She leaned her head close to whisper sensually into his ear.

“Ah, ah, ah. Don’t go screaming, now. If you do, the neighbors might hear, and then what would they think? So just be nice and quiet~. This can be our little secret~, okay, sweetie? Mmm, I’m sooo sorry about this. I know it hurts. It does, doesn’t it? Makes you want to cry, doesn’t it? I do feel so very, ve~ry bad about this, you know.”

She laid the pressure on his mouth. In hindsight she must have been very careful to now break his saw beneath her monstrous strength.

“Is this your first time having your insides stirred up? Mmm, my bad. Oh so bad. But you know, I can’t stop now. Hey, I know. Why don’t you count the cracks in the ceiling! That might help take your mind off the pain. Here, we can do it together. One, two, three, four…”

The first time around, he had passed out when she got to ten. That had been quite the unpleasant moment for him. Then future context made the scene feel much different when he realized that she was digging through his guts to fix his magic circuits as they weren’t working at all up to that point. He had been unable to contact Chaldea. Of course, no doubt it was also to have fun with being able to dig through his guts and play with them at the same time, but she was trying to also help him in her own, brutal way while also not caring how much it hurts him.

Meaning, if it weren’t for her. He wouldn’t be alive today.

It was also one of the most painful things he ever experienced.

Which is why he chose to replay this memory. Tulam told him the sensation would feel like flesh being torn off. So why not pick a memory where an Oni went through his innards?

He spent two days going through that memory again and again. Slowly he was getting better at being able to keep a calm and clear head despite the painful sensation of her fingers tearing his nerves apart.

Today was a break day from that. Much like how you take break days whenever you train a certain part of the body. The majority of his preparation was Tulam mixing up the details in his memory and he had to correct them.

At the present moment, laying there in bed. He was filled with determination.

He’s going to hold on to himself tomorrow.

For he knew that afterward, he could be taught on how to properly control his horniness and indulge in it.

Well, Tulam would teach the former while Nilana teaches the later.

Yes.

Tomorrow will be the true awakening of Lincoln.