Heulyn's Adventures - Arc I: Corner of the Sky [Eteru/Iammelon] [FIN]

No one has true answers at first. She heard that before. Could still hear his delirious tone at the back of her head. ’So many questions you aren't actually very interested in answering, I can tell. Really you just fall back on these things because you'd rather not find out the answer at all!’ H҉e̷ wa̶s r͡ig̡ht.̀ She͜ w҉as ͜b̸etr͟ay̡i̛n͜g h̸er̸ des̴ír̡e.̴ A͏fr͞ai͝d̢.̶ S͘he w͝as̵ a̡fra͟id. ̵Slightly l͡if͝tin͞g th͘e͞ ̷li̶d̸ ͞óff ̵t͠he ͡b҉ox b̛e͟fo̸r̶e qu̕i͞c͘k͝l͟y̕ ̨clos͢in͠g͜ i͢t̢ ̢s͜h͞u͏t̀.͞ ͝ in the midst of her mental static she could still hear Menthrais. She gave a nod in understanding when he assure her to speak up if things become uncomfortable. Not that she’ll complain in the matter. The part of fear did rouse a response but died in her throat both out of sticking to the topic and doesn’t want to look at the door.

The mention of the word ‘responsibility’ stroke a deep cord in her. “That...sounds about right.” Her eyes fell down to the grass below her. “I want to take responsibility, as I had before. To take it upon myself to prevent a dark future that can befall others.” Fear. Menthrais could finally hear traces of it in her tone. “War is Hell.” Nothing more needed to be said. For those three words that she spoke in a somber voice captured the nature perfectly. It wasn’t to she feared the concept of war. Rather she feared for those who live mundane lives, that such violence is beyond their scope of comprehension. War will always leave a permanent stain on the soul. “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. So I offer exactly that. So that no one else has to.”

H̸eul͜yn i̷s ̡a̡fra̸id̀ o̷f̛ h̶e̷a͞ri̢n̸g͢ ͏t́he ͠a̸i̴r̢ ̶r̷a̧id ̀sir̨ȩn.
͝
F͞ór ̧sh̸e re̛mem͏bers.
̵
A͘l͏l s̕ínce͡ t̛h̕a͢t d̴a̸y͟ ̕T͟i͢a͢m̡a͘t̢ wa͠l͠ked͝ into ͟h͜e̡r r͠oom͠ ̵w̕he͠n̢ she ͟w̵as at̶ h̶er͢ ͞moşt w̡eake̢s͘t. ̧
҉
͢M͠i̢nd͡ u͜ngu̴a͝r̨d͘e̴d͢.̶ Sh̛e sat ̷d͞o̴w͢n͡.͟ ̡And͡ c͡o͝nfe͢ss̕ed̸. G͘ave̷ back̢ ͢what̵ ͡w͜as͘ t̡aķe̡n̨.
̕
H̛er͢ na̶me ͡wa̕s̸ He̶ulyn̡ Ll̵oyd͞.͢ H͜ist̶orían͞.̶ Was e͜n̸r̕olle̴d a͞t͟ a͟ univ͞e͜r̨si̧t͠y f̷or ̷her͜ ̶Master̵’̷s degree in̸ ͝ar͜c̛hae͜o͞l͟o͢gy̛.

Sh́e c͠oul͡d҉ r͘em̧em͢ber ̵tha̢t͘ day̕. ́R̡e̕m̧e͠m͜b͘e̵r ͜the ͜fin̨a͟l̨ ̸moment͢s̀ a̕s ͜s̨ḩe͜ ẃa͡s ęáten̨.̸ ̵Her y͞e͞l͜low͜ f̷at,͘ g҉rey ͞bŗa͠in ̴m̸a̧t͞ţęr,̨ ̀h͘er d͜r͞i͟p͢pi͢ńg r̕ed͜ ͘ḿe͜at.̨
̶
B̡ùt ͏th́at̨ ͘is̴ ͠n̶ot̕ a̛l͢l̨ ́th͟e̴ s̛h͠oc̢king re̡v͝e̢lation͏s̨ t͞hat T̀i͢ama̧t d́u̸m͢p̀ed ͞on ̀h̷er.̶ ̨

S͘h́e ͟was̛ ̶w̢o͏r͝kiǹg o͜n͢ ̛ą ̵gr͡a͡du͟a̕ţi͡o̡n̷ ͞p̀rǫj̀eçt͏. ̢The͡ ҉subj͜e̛ct҉ ̕śhe c̀h͠o̴sę ͟wa̢s ͡H̵at̢he͟l̕e͟is̷ia͝ Vis͟w̢a̛ņa͝t͝h͡a̶n. A͢ pe̵r͡s̵o̕n ͜who ͢des͘pi̡te̸ b̷éing a͢eoǹs̨,̀ her̕ l҉eg͞enḑ is ͏s̸ti̶l̢l kno͠w̧n͝ ̨am̶on͟g҉ t̛he̸ ̷e͡s̡ote͏r̶ìc̕ çir͡c͘le͏s͞ ơf h̸i̷g͏her̸ leàrńi̡ng.
͝
H̀ath̴e̶leis̷i͞a ͘saved̶ ̢His̢t҉o͏r͠y͝ o̡f Am͝zįęl͟e̷a͜n.̢

…̛

̡Wh͝o̕ ͠is s͢he̡?

Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is sin. Suppress. Suppress. Suppress. “I’m afraid.” She blurts out her thought by accident. Causing her to become flustered in her body language. But she didn’t withdraw. Instead she kept putting her thoughts there. “I want to take the responsibility of protecting others. But in order to to do. I havr to become strong. But I’m afraid of my potential. I’m afraid of my shadow. So...I had sought penance. Many years ago. A origization of puritans hunted me down for heresy. I could have escaped them. But I voluntarily threw myself into their jaws.” It was illogical. Senseless. The largest reason why her substitute was having so much trouble mimicking her. It could not understand her illogical emotions.

Menthrais understood the fear, he was waiting for it in fact. Fear was the essence of truth, a sign of somebody's true feelings. He actually smiled at it, because it meant he was making progress. He nodded his head at that, deciding he also needed to speak up after she finally admitted it, "Yes, you are afraid. You are always afraid on a deeper level. Fear for others, whether it be for things that may befall them or actions you may do that harm others. That is why I said fear is one of the most important tools in empathy. But, it is also one of the greatest dangers to the empath. Not for the same reasons as fear is dangerous for other people, although I suppose those fears of self harm and irrationality still apply. No, for an empath, the reason fear is such a danger is because it is a gateway to a form of empathy that is broken. When you fear too much for somebody else, you engross yourself entirely in their world. Then, you play by their rules, their standards, and it distorts reality and rationality. And that is why your emotions are so strong and yet so mad. So harmful to yourself, and also to others in many ways."

He then sighed, thinking back. Menthrais sat himself down next to her, deciding to speak about himself, "With that in mind, let's go back to responsibility and what it means to people like you. And, well, me. I have also taken on very big responsibilities to prevent it from falling upon others. I changed my entire life for that feeling, in fact, doing something that someone else did not want to, and could not handle. I feared for them, and so I took the responsibility upon myself instead. The repercussions of that have stuck with me even to this very moment. But, in helping that one person, I set in motion many other events that saw others hurt. I offered everything, and helped one. But in diving into the world of somebody else so utterly, I ended up blinded to the worlds of so many others. Especially my own. Does that story sound familiar in any way to you?"

Too engrossed...in the world of another. Her stirring emotions were stilled by those words as if it were a prospect that was never pondered upon before. Confusion and self-denial tug at each other for dominance. Perplexion clearly written upon her fair features. ’Simply put contractor, ye art a contradiction. Thee lament of being forged in war, yond thee did doth becometh something alien. Yet, at the same time thee cling hard to the values of ‘amzielean’ yond thee did forget to asketh the most important question. Why?’ The sudden inner inquiry from her Servant did nothing but fan her strange state of feeling lost. ’Ask yourself this. Are thee defined by ‘Amzielean’? Or thyself?’ And the third question that went unsaid by felt. Is the universe governed by these abstract values? “I...haven’t been true to my standards?” The question was directed both ways. Never have truly considered that idea before.

But now that it took root in her thoughts she mull upon it. Then she began to slowly think that she is coming to an understanding. Why did she think being ‘inamzielean’ was a bad thing in the context of a universe with multiple species with their own moral understanding. So lost in her train of thought that she did not notice when she was recalling knowledge from the Heulyn that came before to look at the bigger picture. And saw that some of Anubite values would be seen as sickening and ‘inamzielean’. From what she gathered from her musings was that she had nothing to fear from herself. That binding herself to a creed was contradictory. The only ethical reasonings that she follow is none other than herself. That is after all, the core of philosophy. “I can see how I tied myself to one perspective. I failed to attain an equilibrium between myself and the universe around me right?” She became coherent enough to clearly respond this time.

She kept her gaze on the spirit as he sat next to her. Leaning forward with her elbows on her lap with clasped hands. “It...sorta reminds me of the trolley problem in a way. For trying to codify a correct answer is not the purpose of the problem. For there is no satisfying solution to it. I’ve met other spirits that follow this somewhat. Saving the few at the expense of the many or sacrifice the few for the many. Mmm. In a way, I think I took Sethus order as a variant of the problem. If I was responsible for finding the claim that can put a stop to this war and prevent the loss of lives. Would I then not be responsible for the lives lost if I couldn’t find anything?” That is what she had originally thought. “I’m painfully aware of my powerlessness. My mediocrity. I know it’s the height of arrogance to think that I can save everyone. But it still hurts.”

Menthrais smiled as he saw Heulyn process what he said, and start to absorb it into her mind. Accepting that concept of falling into the world of another and the negative consequences that followed was an important first step in solving the empath's dilemma. He nodded to her question, "Indeed, you fell into the grasp of standards of others, and so failed to bring in your own beliefs. When you do this, you create a dangerous mental co-dependence. You start to see yourself in the others, make connections where they do not exist. You have immense compassion, but you forget to direct some of it towards yourself. I understand that the concept of self-compassion can sound crazy, selfish, and even perhaps blasphemous in a way. But it is a required part of being a healthy emphatic individual. You need to keep a foot in both the world of yourself and of others in order to attain a sense of objectivity. In this way, you can understand the pain of others and better work to try and help them, but also avoid being overwhelmed by irrational empathy that only ends in self-harm and sorrow. That is the equilibrium you asked for, and you must find it. Do you understand?"

He then nodded again, "It is somewhat like that problem. Finding a correct answer is not the point, but finding the one you personally believe to be the right move is what is meant. However, you are right that another part of that situation is responsibility, which is a good thing to talk about now. You are not responsible for things you are not the true actor behind. After all, it is not the fault of a homeowner for seeing their house robbed. The fault does not lie with them for not installing security on their home, but on the robber for targeting that home. Now, one could try to direct blame back to the victim by saying it was their fault for not taking the precautions ahead of time, but how were they to know they were going to be a target? Fault is a matter of intent and effort. You are doing your part to try and stop something as it is already ongoing for instance. Just because you do not manage to stop it while it is in progress does not mean you are suddenly the cause for the entire event. You tried to help, it simply did not work. You and probably many other individuals trying the same thing. Would the fault lie with them too for failing to stop this, as a collective sin? No." He paused for a moment, and then nodded, "Yes, that is very arrogant. To see yourself in that way as at the center of the universe and thus taking the responsibility for all bad things that happen around you is arrogant and wrong. But you of course cannot help the pain, for it is the drawback of empathy. You are not the High Lord, for instance. Nor did you suddenly take the place of a High Lord and make the responsibility of the position your own in order to prevent pain on another. That is not your life, and grounding yourself in that is important."

Arrogance. It was a dirty word. Something that she herself had denied when it comes to herself. But to hear it plainly from an external source was something she could reject. Her guts squirm in anguish of not being able to. No thoughts were able to block out his superior common sense. For he was right. So used to taking upon worldly responsibilities that she subconsciously went back to that mindset. Was that why she accepted the task so easily? It makes sense in hindsight. She didn’t want to feel powerless so she put herself in a state of placebo to fool herself that she has power. That she could decide the fate of this war. When in reality, she was merely an outsider. A nobody. “I...I have been foolish.” Her tone was low. Unable to prevent the wave of realization to awash over her. Shining a light on her sinful narcissism.

The other half of the lesson reinforces the words spoken prior. That it was okay to love oneself. Acceptance is the key to everything. And she had been drowning it in her ignorance. So focused on the despair to come that she pushed aside her needs to aid others. Leaving it to become warped and Ill in her blindness. “I…” It was hard to come up with words to say. Menthrais is true to his prestige, having been able to unravel her in a way that the mystics couldn’t. New, alien thoughts whirl within her mind. Even with all of this on her mind she gave a soft sigh. “I have a lot to think about. But, I believe I know what I must seek now.” The unknown was frightening. Yet she knows her equilibrium lies beyond the precipice.

Menthrais smiled widely and clapped his hands together. The spirit had found success, and was clearly quite happy about that. But of course that was only the first of many steps on a long road, and so he couldn't stir on one victory for too long. He put a hand on Heulyn's shoulder and then nodded, "Acceptance of mistakes is always the first step. But just because you have been thinking that way for a long time does not make you a bad person. You are flawed, but far from evil. Now you just need to pick yourself up and keep walking forward, while keeping this knowledge in mind. Pick up the pieces of your life, and do the things that are within your power. Once you build yourself up enough, you will find that you will be able to help others far better than before, and finally find that satisfaction I spoke of from earlier. Though what is it you intend to seek now? I must admit I am curious as to what you are now putting your mind to."

Heulyn leans back against the smooth obelisk behind her. The unease that tied her insides dissipated. Her eyes no longer gaze at the ground below to hide from the sky. Now she peered up into the cerulean expanse. Letting the rays of Memphi to fall on her face. The warmth wash away the tension in her body. ’Ah…’ She muse as an old memory bubble to the surface. The subconscious reason why she stuck to her name in the creation of her torch-staff. It was a Ciyrlmiy name that meant ‘ray of sun’. ’Was that the whole purpose you told me all of that Tiamat? Just for me to learn the meaning behind my name? Haah...what beautiful journey.’ At its end she found her victory in the azure womb above. Aided in the illumination of it radiance.

Truly, she became a ray of the star. She cares not to be the star itself. To enshrine herself as the linchpin of the heavens. To reject the reality to live as an ephemeral moment, as mere flashes of light doomed to fade like the rest of the universe. No one can become eternal. Thus that begs a question. Was that one of the reasons that she has been shackled with the chain of eternal recurrence? As a reminder of that truth? To chain her down so that she may not become lost in the lofty clouds.

The weight on her shoulder and the spoken words were nostalgic. Is the chain also serves as binding her together. How she finds the strength to continuously pull herself together where her friend could not. He had sought the end. Not the ever-distant horizon that she walks toward. A guiding light for others to follow. Was this why so many spirits swear their fealty to her with such zeal. Their words of loyalty still ring clear within her.

’Your commands are righteous and good. They have a wondrous and warm feeling. If my sword can somehow lend you power, then with all of my spirit, I will become your strength, Master.’

‘My friend. Even if you were to stab me in the back one day, I don't think I could begrudge you for it. I've never had as much faith in anybody as I have in you.’

‘I, Oukita, no longer have any doubts. Wherever you are, Master... Even if it's to the ends of the land, the ends of the sea, if this transient body ceases to exist, or even if it's to the gates of the underworld... I shall always be with you! ‘

The more she reflect on those memories, the more she realizes the extent of her foolishness. Hah, good grief she really done it this time. “Thank you...Menthrais.” She was grateful that no matter where she goes there are always those that will remind her of what is most important. She gave a relaxed sigh this time. Continuing to lay back on the obelisk in thought. “I would be deceiving myself if I knew exactly what I seek. That’s the purpose of self-discovery no? You have shown me the proper tools to pave the road. Not to cement the bricks with my blood.” Beside her personal goal she does know where to go from here in terms of her given mission. In the end she came to a conclusion.

There was nothing else to do. But this time instead of falling into despair of her powerlessness she felt content. Beyond the confines of the park she knows that events are coming into motion far above her grasp and scope. “In a short while the skyline will become hazy with smoke. The streets running with vermilion. The idyllic silence of the park defiled by distant cracks of their weapons. All the while the helpless find themselves blissfully unaware of being caught in the crossfire.” She did not need to say anything more to paint the picture. “Ah, to think I thought I had the power. I do have a bad habit. The funny thing is that I’m not even a registered citizen yet. I have only been here for a little over a month. There’s nothing I can too out there. But that does not mean I can’t give my light.” While solemn to the truth around she turned her eyes to the spirit. A warm smile spread across her lips. Pulling up her arm to place her hand over his own that still sat on her shoulder. “I’ll sit here with you. No one deserves to watch the city crumble alone. Just as you have been with me, I’ll be with you.” At least then, she manages to help one person within her reach.

Menthrais maintained his smile, giving a nod, "You are quite welcome, Heulyn. Been quite a while since I got to provide help like that! Most people don't come to the spirit of a High Lord for such emotional issues, you know. Guess you didn't either, but it all worked out." He then nodded again, as she was right, "Good. Hearing you say that means you took my lessons well. You are quite right that it will take time to find out what you really are aiming for, and what you really want as an end goal. Self discovery is important, but it's also important to keep an eye on yourself while doing it. Self harm only removes progress, it does not grant any."

He then looked out at the city as she described the potential coming future, and his smile disappeared. The old High Lord certainly did not want to see a city he once ruled himself fall into such disarray, sighing at the idea. He shook his head, "I dearly hope it will not come to such, and I would like to believe both sides will avoid spilling out too much violence on the streets. But that is wishful thinking, I suppose. Things are never so clean... Hmph." He then turned his head to Heulyn, sighing again, "A kind gesture, but not exactly what I would say is the best idea under the circumstances. The investigation given to you as a message and all, not to mention there likely would be at least a few people worried about you being here, in a park, instead of in a fortified building. Mind you, it is my park, and I keep it safe. Violence here is unlikely, unless either side wants to invoke the wrath of a High Lord's spirit. So, I guess you are safe, but do you have nobody who would worry? I will protect you and anybody else who seeks shelter here, it is the least I can do for my own part in this." Menthrais did clearly have a tint of guilt in his voice, though it was covered up by an internal struggle of his own. A battle between two conflicting desires within him.

Heulyn could grasp what he meant by not many people coming to him for issues related to emotions. Those of high status always bear the air of ‘unapproachable’ to those lower on the chain. An element or rather lack thereof that relates why she was not as bothered by Menthrais in the beginning. Her time with colorful spirits took away that veil from her. While admittedly wrong in terms of view she sees Menthrais as Menthrais first, then High Lord. It’s a habit she can’t help with. Giving a smile to his following words she gaze out into the park. Wondering if there were any increase in activity. She has no doubt that both sides would want to ensure a first early strike. The faces of her friends rose to her mind. Wondering what they are up to right now.

Hearing Menthrais sigh as he lamanets the reality of war drew a solemn nod from her. “Warfare never is.” Especially when it comes to fighting in urban areas, the amount of unknown variables can lead to really chaotic engagements. She let out a sigh. Continuing to rest against the obelisk. “Heh, sitting in an armchair away from the fighting never suited me. My place is on the frontline. No matter the risk.” It was spoken in neither heroism or honor. After all she has been through it would be a disgrace on the memory of fallen for her to hole up somewhere safe.

“Beside, it’s not like I won’t keep them up to date. I can fire off a text to Tarset of my current location. Speaking of, I might as well do that.” Digging into her pocket she pulls out her phone. Flicking the screen to her messages she began to type while continuing to speak. “But yeah, I definitely wish to do my part in this. No matter how small it may be.” While open the park carries strategic value. It’s a good place to build a camp at and get entrenched. They need to make sure that doesn’t happen. Pressing send she place her phone on her lap. Of course it does not write out her other priorities.

As seen by now she’s very sensitive to emotions. As such she was able to gleam the tinge of guilt in his voice that he did hide well. She almost missed it herself. It was not enough to make her suspicious however. Rather she was intrigued for it was in her nature to learn a person's side of the story before making judgements. She is after all, a total stranger here. “Mmm say regarding what you said earlier when we were talking about responsibility. Was that about Renesab?” It was not spoken accustionary but in curiosity. Simply making small talk about the topics they discussed.


::Text Sent::

::Hey Terry, hope you are doing well. Not used to the weather yet. (◕△◕✿)::

::Things are slow on my end. Currently at the park with Menthrais. ∪＾ェ＾∪::

::Other than that I’ll keep in touch. I wish you all well! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧::

Menthrais sighed, but there wasn't really much he could say. She was right that she could keep people updated from a distance with those devices which younglings seemed to love so much, and there was even the point to be made that this point it might be more dangerous to be caught out in the street when fighting could break out at any moment. Not to mention, it wasn't like he could argue with her stance on having to be on the frontline without being a hypocrite. It was exactly the same attitude he would have, and he knew that no matter how much he disliked that feeling he was allowing another to take on some of the risk that was his to bear. So he simply had to allow that bit to slide, "Very well. You should know that I do not approve, and feel you should move to safety, but I will not force you. So long as those who care for you know that you are here, that's important for them to know."

The Spirit froze up for a second at the question, worried at where this was going. But the High Lord quickly recovered and gave a reluctant nod, "You are correct. The friend I spoke about was my childhood friend Renesab, progenitor of the noble Yuya family that apparently has led to this situation. Many people do know him as the captain of my royal guard and a very close friend of mine, but few know just how close the two of us were. Neither him or I really connected much with our parents, and we had our own struggles finding our place in the world. But we stuck together, and we helped one another. We took on some burdens for the other even when we were just young children. Made our respective lives easier, as we each had some talents the other envied. But we never became rivals, just very good friends. I rewarded his friendship with everything I could. Position as Captain of the Guard, and eventually full noble status. He earned all of it, becoming things I never could. But, well, I did things for him too. Even when we were young, I knew there were little things he couldn't handle. That he would never truly grasp, and I knew it would torture him to fail. So, I helped him. Took on responsibilities. We each took on more and more of the other's life that we got a little carried away. But it all worked out, I like to think. Or, well, I liked to think." Menthrais sighed again, the same guilt there. He was clearly being non-specific on purpose as well, his words were clearly controlled to avoid giving away too much.

Meanwhile, Tarset got the text, reading it from her phone with one hand as the other hand stroked the head of Almas. The Lady-Lord chuckled at the cutesy style of texting, but she was also relieved to know Heulyn was at a location she knew. A secure one, as Tarset felt that being in the presence of a High Lord's spirit was a pretty big safeguard. She sent back a quick response;

::Got it! Stay safe out there, Sethus will raise hell if something bad happens over there!::

She understood what he meant. People care for her as she cares for them. The schematics of her safety is irrelevant. The point he addresses that self-harm is also a selfish act. “I appreciate your words. It does have merit. Besides, realistically speaking the park is the safest place to be in some ways.” A fortified building can easily turn into a death trap. A scenario that she was a part of in more times than she would have liked. While the fortress is well guarded, it will most likely be hit harder than the park would be. In a way she ponder if that’s part of the reason Sucali sent her on a goose chase was to get her out of harm's way. She wouldn’t be mad if that’s the case, after all she would’ve done the same thing in his place.

The tale gave her a smile. She adores heartfelt stories such as this. However, she couldn’t help but recall some things Sucali said. “Talents the other envied. Huh that reminds me of something Sucali told me about. He’s an eccentric soul.” She notes as she listens. Her tone regarding Sucali felt she like him despite his actual attempt to kill her. “Anyway, I can see you two are close. I can’t help but feel giddy. Hehehe.” She spoke in admiration. Genuinely happy for the spirit. “Ah. Say this may sound like a strange thing to ask. But do you have a ‘craving’? A desire that's grown without being obtained. Commonly expressed as thirst, hunger, prayer, wish, dream, and color, among other terms, a craving flows forth from a person'e soul. I have a vague sense of mine although I don’t know it yet.” All the more reason for her to stick to this journey of self-discovery. “Mostly I’m asking this out of curiosity of you and to understand more about the nature of Anubite spirits.” She explains while sending back a text real quick.

::You be safe as well! (✿◠‿◠)::

Menthrais shook his head, "Not quite. While there are disadvantages to a building, it is generally safer than open ground like this for the simple fact of cover. A park like this has no cover, no natural defenses. Artillery is particularly effective on such a place. That will not be too much of an issue thanks to me, but all the same it is very much out in the open. Regardless, this will be out of the way, unlikely to attract a full attack. The position is strategic, but I am sure the Yuya are smart enough to not engage locations with powerful spirits protecting them, and make unwanted enemies."

Regardless, after his small explanation, he seemed amused, "You went and met Sucali, huh? Renesab's mad grandson, he was an interesting one for sure. Eccentric barely scratches the surface of what he is. But a rather dangerous one too. Not best to stay around him. All the same, he isn't the concern right now."  He did smile at her seeming to be happy about the friendship, as it was something he cherished quite closely himself as well. So it was pleasant to see it being appreciated by others. He did however have to think as she posed that question, thinking back at any sort of desire he had failed to achieve in life, "I suppose for a spirit that would be regrets. Things we did not accomplish in life even if we wanted to. I've plenty of small regrets, little policy things I do wish I did, but most of them are quite small. Nothing along the lines of a great craving or desire. I suppose, if there was anything I wished to do, I would have liked to build up this park some more. Expand it, bring in more animals to create a more diverse ecosystem, more plants and green, and so on. You know, to create a nice big section of green in this desert world. And I did always want to visit Freeforest. But why do you ask? Anubite Spirits are people, of course we have desires. Often ones unfulfilled from life."

She gave an understanding nod. Different viewpoints is not rare when it comes to the art of war. Given she’s a greenhorn compared to someone with more experience is why she did not seek to debate that. After all it would be a divergence from their current topics. With that aside she shared his amusement with a small grin. “Heheh, that he is. That he is.” She is fully aware of the danger he possesses but for someone who had worked with spirits like him before she can’t help but interact with him. Whether it’s out of nostalgia or her nature she does not know yet. For even if someone were to stab her in the gut she would extend a hand to befriend them the very next day. A childish notion, true, but one she could not discard.

She gave a smile to the inquiry. “I admit it was a strange thing to ask. It was mostly for personal introspection. A philosophical musing of what drives us. To speak in the context of Amzielean culture. We all live in the real world. And while life gives us plenty to cherish, it offers its fair share of misfortune just the same. We march on, hungering after dreams we keep locked up in our hearts, forever unfulfilled. And so we lived, ever discontent, haunted by doubts, frail on our feet. And that’s exactly what makes them Amziel. Their lives are but petals in the wind, moments lost in the annals of time. No matter how fiercely we struggle to make it ours, eternity will always elude us. In other words to live your life to its fullest, with head held high. Amziel hunger and lust and crave for as long as their hearts beats in their chest. No matter where life takes them, no matter what nourishment fate offers them, their thirst fades not. For that is fine, merely natural. In times of strife, they never know when they might end up dead. In that light they should cherish every moment. That an individual is but a spark within the conflagration of life. And that’s why they always look up and face forward. Believe that there is meaning to every moment. Drink to the ephemeral, and to reality.” She then let out a soft sigh. “The Amzielean of Angelarium had lost this philosophy a long time ago. They sought for eternity, delude themselves in grandeur and fantasy, as a result it led them to ruination.”

“This is all in the context of proper Amzilean culture of course. So I’m always fascinated to learn the perspective of other cultures. Which is partly another reason why I asked.” Her lack of knowledge regarding Anubite culture did not need to be stated at this point given she addressed that she has not been here for very long. “The ephemeral and eternity are topics that I yet to truly understand. Which ironically may very well be the point. As you noted awhile ago, I spent a lot of time with spirits. Something which is what drew me to you guys in the first place. I felt a connection as strange that may sound. Ah, anyways to backtrack a bit.” She said as she was aware that she was getting carried away. “That’s not a bad wish at all. I would love to see that on a world like Tombuiron.”

Menthrais listened, since of course he knew little of Amziels or their culture. As far as he was concerned they were practically a new species even if they did resemble Humans. He needed to know the differences, and this gave some insight into them. It was interesting to hear that more philosophical take, and how that philosophy apparently was lost. It was certainly different to Anubites, which was less caring about the real world, and had to take into account the affairs of another realm, "Quite interesting to hear, and different to Anubites. You talk about the real world, we live in two. In fact, we are talking between two right now. Life and Death. I am dead, and you are alive. And yet we speak and discuss to reach a grander understanding. Anubites don't have quite the same hunger for life, but that's not to say we lack it. We simply have interests that go beyond the mortal plane, if that makes sense."

He then chuckled, "It does seem that you have experience with spirits, yes. For the better, I would say. This conversation has gone well, and I believe will be an improvement for both of us." Menthrais smiled and nodded, "I enjoy my homeworld, but I am a scion of life. Ironic, coming from somebody who is dead, but I enjoy sprawling wildlife. There is much in the desert, but I want this world to see more. There are many ways to show Anubites life from other worlds, things outside their natural comfort zones. Something I am too busy to pursue for myself, but it would please me to see more parks like this one spring up. Mildir would probably enjoy it too. He's a Freeforest Stag, you know. It's not a coincidence he enjoys this park, as it is the closest one can get to his natural habitat on Tombuiron."

She nodded in mutual understanding. Watching the flame on her torch-staff dance to the breeze. The hieroglyphs shone softly in the memphilight. “It does make sense. You have a perspective that Angelarium Amzielean do not. As a result they clamor for more beyond this life. Whether it be for immortality, knowledge, power, and even godhood. That tends to end in a way that we would expect.” Swishing her legs she look over to Menthrais. Giving a soft sigh in internal debate of saying something as outlandish it may be. Since he was most likely the best person she would find when it comes to the sea beyond she spoke her mind. “In a way I connect to the Anubite perspective. A short while ago I came to learn that I’m in a cycle of metempsychosis.” The transmigration of the soul. How she came to discover was a bit of a long story for a summary so she went with the abridged version. “I came in the possession of a spiritual relic, referred to as Ahnenerbe in proper Amziel terminology. They are unique for the individual. For me I don’t know what it looks like for it requires me to visualize it. But I can grasp what it does. It feels like a dam that trickles in memories of my past lives. Like it’s protecting me from not getting overwhelmed by the weight behind it.” She gave a low chuckle. Feeling a bit bashful in saying it. “I know it sounds silly. But...I figured if there were anyone that would get what I’m saying it would be the Anubites.” So that they may be able to shine light of what’s outside.

Menthrais nodded in agreement, "Yes, often poorly. Godhood is a concept so very poorly understood by mortals. Most of them do not know what it means, or what it really takes to get there. For instance, look upon me. Do you see a God? I have immense magical powers, I am beyond death, and I have methods of staying like this for good. But none of those things make me a God. Very far from it. Gods are not entities mortals have any business with, nor should they want it! Gods work in a realm beyond even death, they rule over the universe itself, the very soul stuff. But no mortal would really want to give up mortality to live that life, it is not one that is made to be enjoyed." He then listened more closely as she explained about her soul, and the soul relic. It was an oddity to him, since he hadn't heard about such a thing ever before, but he decided he would try and rationalize it from what he knew, "I can't say I understand what you mean too well, as I have never heard of a Ahnenerbe, given that I find spiritual relics to usually be items in Anubite terms. But you speak of past lives and reincarnation... Quite a strange thing. Not usual based on anything I have ever seen. You'll have to explain a bit further however before I could quite tell you what I think." After all, Menthrais didn't know anything about the Soul Relic, as that was something Sethus had learned about.

She was not surprised that she needed to explain in depth. But was partly hoping not to as it would near some sensitive subjects. “The feeling is mutual. Ahnenerbe is very much an esoteric subject in proper Amzielean. A dead artform even.” Granted this notion is based on her memories when she used to be a historian. She hasn’t read too far into modern Ishnar stuff yet. So until then she works with what she has. “Mmm well to start somewhere, it goes back to the subject of desire. A craving is a source of power for Die Ewigkeit style of sorcery. Said sorcery revolves around spiritually merging an Ahnenerbe with their wielder, henceforth granting them supernatural capabilities. What it does varies from person to person depending on their desire. Say for a recorded example. ‘I do not want to be touched by anyone’ equates soul relic manifesting the ability to never allow anyone to ever touch his body. To become faster in relation to the opposing thing. Essentially bypassing the concept of speed. And yeah, as you probably noticed, that and most of recorded Ahnenerbe cravings tend to disregard common sense. Given desires tend to be irrational to begin with. To use a Shoukouan slang, they suffer from the Chuunibyou syndrome.” She lightly joke. Recalling old memories where she read historic accounts of Ahnenerbe.

Shifting her gaze back to her flame she continue on with her explanation. “I was unaware that I had a Ahnenerbe inside of me. My bonding with it was...involuntary. I don’t know much about it beside the physical sign of the formula contract.” It was evident that she was skirting around something but tries to play it off. Tugging down the fabric of her write glove to show the stylized symbol on her hand. The red lines shimmer with esoteric energies. “Interesting to know, I had a tattoo just like this before I got the contact. I guess it took this shape because it was some sort of symbol that represents me.” Straightening her glove she folded her hands back on her lap. “Ah, anyways. With that said. I don't know what my Ahnenerbe is. Only that it’s named Choaa a'r Moorlnsiyha'sas and manifested the ability to recall my past lives as a response to my desire at the time. ‘I wish to remember why I struggle to live’.” Given her previous statement that left some grim implications of why that was her deepest desire. As it essentially means for someone to give her a reason to stay in this world.

In an attempt to divert the direction away from that she talked about her Ahnenerbe more. “Choaa a'r Moorlnsiyha'sas roughly translates Chain of Memories. And that’s about all I know so far. I don’t know if it’s simplistic, metaphorical, or something else. Is the chain an allegory of interconnected lives like they were links? Or is the chain some form of symbolism that restrains me in some way” She knew that he wouldn’t know much either. Given she was just getting her thoughts out of her. “As of now, I have come to learn four of my past lives. Each radically different. And I can feel that I have only scratched the tip of the iceberg.”

Menthrais still had very little idea of what he was hearing, as ultimately most of the terminology was simply unknown to him, and took a bit to process. This wasn't exactly within his area of experience, but it was a matter of the spirit. And that did mean he had a role in this, as that was a responsibility of the High Lord. So he would do his best with what limited understanding he had, and try to apply his experience. With some thought, the High Lord provided his rationalization, "Well, let's see. As far as I can see, you don't have a relic at all, as that doesn't sound like merely some object. In fact a relic sounds like the worst descriptor of this Ahnenerbe you could give! Since from what you're saying, there is practically no real physical object in the equation, and more of a spiritual matter instead. Of course, it also doesn't sound like the spirit of a person either, although I can't rule that out. To me, you're very wrong in what you are determining that as. Consider something very simple. Forces such as the Psions have been capable of absorbing memories from people, siphoning at their soul and very being. In effect, they obtain the life of that person. But does that mean the Psion is that person, or merely an imitation carrying their memories? This chain of memories supports my little idea as well. This Ahnenerbe, as you call it, sounds like a forced method of what the Psions do, in a far more through fashion. As a little bit of extra context, Psions are one of few to be able to use that skill because they are trained for it. When they absorb memories, they have such mental power that they do not confuse themselves with the person they have stolen from. They understand that the memories are not theirs through discipline. But what happens when a normal person tries the same? Simply put, they become confused. The mind has obtained new memories, but it doesn't have the preparation to differentiate them from the reality of the person. It's a quick way to become insane. They may think they have multiple lives, and perhaps develop a split personality as each side of the mind grapples with which set of memories is the primary one. But that doesn't mean they actually are the second person, they are simply completely engrossed in that fiction."

He paused for a moment, and then nodded, "Thus, my understanding is simple. You don't live multiple lives. You never have. That contact I feel was perhaps the merger of some prepared spell or even mangled soul with your own being. All these representations are I must guess the result of the Ahnenerbe having some sort of self reflective capacity, combined with your own soul. Not surprising it works off interior feelings of yours like desire. But, more than anything, playing off your belief in purposeful connections. Hence why you expect a chain, an allegory. When in reality all those past lives and memories may simply be a massive bunch of memories collected by this Ahnenerbe, or even perhaps purposefully put into it. Then, it simply became so intertwined with you that as far as you can really tell, those are past lives. Perhaps the memories themselves have even been morphed in key ways to best fit your desire for a connection, a purpose, and a link." Menthrais sighed, "But that's a guess. Dealing with something I can't say I understand, so I provide my perspective from all my years as an Anubite mystic. Perhaps some of it is right, and other parts wrong. That will have to be found out."

She appreciated the spirit for sticking with her. Her claims were outlandish enough that someone had to be knowledgeable enough in the field to help her. “You’re right that I don’t physically have it. According to Die Ewigkeit sorcery it only appears if it’s stable enough, signifying the ascension to the second level of the Ewigkeit formula, Yetzirah which means formation. Although it’s a bit contradictory for according to the first level, Assiah, which I’m at. I think. It states at Assiah  the characteristic that indicates the level is that the Ahnenerbe has manifested from the person's soul. It further goes on that at this rank it is physical and somewhat unstable. Considering what I’m going through, it’s not a stretch of a possibility that it’s so unstable it can’t be manifested in a physical manner.” She gave a soft chuckle to the statement of the name being a bad descriptor. “True it’s not real but that raises the age old philosophical debates of consciousness and how we perceive reality. To the materialism perspective ‘things’ are arbitrary labels. They think a ‘‘‘river’ is a label put on a section of reality that is ultimately just continuous flow of electrons, quark, and other fundamental fields. There’s also other perspective but I’ll end there. It's all too complicated to add to our current topic. One last thing on that though, it could be a more symbolic spin on one of the nouns for Relic.” It does fit the description of being a part of the body. Perhaps in this case it’s the spiritual body.

She gave an understanding nod. “It’s definitely not something to rule out. Stars, there are other things that I can’t rule out either with their own arguments for and against.” She admits to him. Feeling more open now she is getting it all out of her. Rubbing the back of her neck in pondermeant. “There is merit in that understanding. It goes back to how malleable perception is. In that light it goes give me some clarity on the understanding I have so far. On the assumption that this is real. I think it’s wrong to treat it as multiple lives as you said, but rather as one long lifetime. In a way how someone afflicted with absolute amnesia is not treated as a second life. The way it feels when I remember these memories is that they happened a long time ago. Like the feeling of looking at pictures of you when you were a young child. Or watching a video recording of yourself. It’s like that. In a way.” She could come up with more comparisons but felt that was enough to serve the purpose. “I think you might be correct that it collects memories in a storage matter. When I look back at the end of the cycles I could feel something click sort to speak. Something resonates in me that it’s holding the memories of these cycles for me to have an authentic life. So I’m not being born with the mentally of an old lady. The other main thing that resonates with me. Is that underneath it all, the reason that I feel right with is that it’s simply an adventure. What leads me to this is that after I ‘die’ in the cycle I get this sense of ‘this was a beautiful adventure, I can’t wait to see what’s next’.” She spoke in a curious manner. Feeling strangely content that it was right answer.

She too join Menthrais in giving a sigh. It was very much a complex subject. Giving a warm smile she spoke once more. “I’m grateful for you to hear me out. I haven’t told anyone about it besides Sethus. He took a dive inside my mind so I don’t know what he knows. Him aside it was a secret reason why I accepted Tarset offer in coming with her to this world after we got attacked by Omnipo assassins.” Her eyes scrunch a brief second when she mentioned Omnipo. She could very much still remember the phantom pain. “Hmm but anyways as I was saying. Thank you. Remembering and/or knowing something that no one else can is a painful thing. You can’t talk to anyone about it. No one will understand you. You’ll be alone.” Her tone was somewhat gloomy.

Giving another sigh as she looks out into the park. “I feel like saying again that you’re right earlier. I was being arrogant in believing I could be a big hero. That I took responsibility for all their lives. Ah what am I doing here. I’m a foreigner in all that it entails in the middle of something that I have no place in. I’m not even an extra in another person's story but an observer. It’s...a bit frustrating. I want to help. To do something. But I can’t. I’m powerless. I’m just a small amziel girl in a wide universe.” Leaning back onto the obelisk once more her thoughts drifted to it now that she found herself with nothing more to get out of her system. “Say did you say anything earlier about being busy working on something? What were you were working on?” It was not spoken in a manner that she was accusing him of something. More so that she was simply making small talk to pass the time.

Menthrais chuckled at her analysis, giving a nod, "Being born with the mentality of an old lady would be quite a different way to experience life, for sure! So at least you don't have to live that way, as while it may be interesting I also believe it would not be fun." He smiled then, "Adventure, huh? Well, it is perhaps not the best explanation or reason from the perspective of one seeking a concrete goal, but I do feel it would be fulfilling. Adventures of a grand scale are uncommon for most of us, you know. From all sections of life, a true adventure is one in a million. Commonfolk, nobles, warriors, and rulers... All equally capable of going on one, but just as equally capable of missing out. My life for instance is hardly adventurous. Well, was. So, value that, Heulyn. Even the bad, like that assassination attempt. It's a horrible thing to experience, I know from personal knowledge. Not easy to live on, knowing you were so close to a moment in which life was cut off. Especially if you weren't the target, and were simply at the scene as a result of another matter entirely. But that experience is a rare one, a telling one. Shows that you have a more interesting life than most, and upfront knowledge on the subject can help you in future situations in potentially preventing it."

He then went silent as the topic drifted back to his obelisk, with the High Lord's spirit seeming a bit uncomfortable at it being brought up. However, her simple tone did seem to calm him down. While clearly still reluctant, he decided he could talk, "Ah, well, this obelisk is key to my work. As you probably know by now, Anubite Spirits are often not too mobile. We require binding and anchors to the material world in order to remain here. We have to stay within a certain distance of these anchors, like spirit stones. Not difficult for a mystic to move, but spirits such as myself can't move around on a normal basis, since of course it's quite wrong to just conscript a Mystic for something like a visit to another spirit. Mystics are very busy, with many important duties. So, I've been working on a communications and transport system of sorts, for Spirits. This Obelisk, while on the outside appears to be a hunk of rock, actually has an interior of the same gemstones that make up Spirit Stones. They act as my anchor, but there's plenty of extra. I've been seeing to it that a few more get set up, and I'm trying to create a system in which Spirits attached to one of these Obelisks can transfer along a sort of spiritual chain, sending either messages or their entire spirits to another Obelisk. Still calibrating it, but it has potential. Got the messaging part down, at least. The other Obelisk is in Yuya territory."

She gave a soft smile of agreement without his words on adventure. Suppressing the urge to look away when he talked about the assassination for two reasons. One was mostly the act of ignorance. But more importantly the second reason was that he was correct. Her features became lax with the emotion of nostalgia slowly burning in her heart. “Yeah...it has been a rather interesting, beautiful life so far.” That was the best way to have summarized it. She could fill in multiple books that detail all her adventures. “That’s why I have this feeling this all started on the desire for adventure rather than a concrete goal of something grandiose like searching for ultimate knowledge or seeking transcendence. Or any other cliche ambition. It kinda goes back to what you said before about people trying to attain godhood. Not only do they not understand it but they also don’t put in much thought of what they would do with it long afterwards. They also lose important things like consequence, loss, and pain that gives life its value. It’s as you said. Horrible experiences have value in them.”

The next subject of discussion was fairly interesting to her for she was learning the difference between Heroic Spirits and Anubite Spirits. Her spirits has a lot more free reign but require a constant flow of mana from their master. Independent actions was possible if they got separated but would need to find sources of magic to feast upon for fuel. Typically although gruesome, hearts are a good source of spiritual energy. Recharging behavior aside she thought on this system. Wondering if the chain was based on the planet ley lines for she never did learn if this planet has something similar. “Ah that’s real neat to hear! I love seeing spirits be able to have privileges like that.” She was rather ardent in her words. Truly a woman that values the comforts of a spirit. Swishing her legs back and forth as she gives a smile. “I’m happy for you guys. I really am. Perhaps a bit bias but I suppose everyone has some sort of bias towards something.” A small giggle left her lips before her eyes became thoughtful. “Mmm with that in mind. Out of curiosity has there ever been an attempt to make a city dedicated for spirits?” She genuinely asks.

The Spirit gave a simple nod in agreement, "Indeed. Life is valuable for the experiences it grants, and you must understand the value in all things, good and bad, to live a truly fruitful and fulfilling life. Learn to take enjoyment in what you like, but also be grateful for the things you have. Although I will admit that is easier said than done. Easy to lose perspective, either consumed by dread or getting overconfident. Both states are easy to fall into, and hard to crawl back out of."

The differences were indeed rather apparent. Anubite Spirits certainly had a more limited range, but they also had more freedom in a different fashion. For once they were anchored, they needed no fuel or a connection to any person. They could be alone if they wished. And this of course also meant Anubite style Spirits had far more in the way of potential, although by the same token by standing alone they were also more vulnerable to their own individual weakness. Menthrais raised an eye at her suggestion, thinking back and shrugging, "I am certain the idea has floated about at some point, because it is very possible. As shown by the tombs and whatnot. The massive tomb complexes out in the deserts could easily be considered cities for spirits. But the purposeful construction of one for that reason has not been attempted, simply because I think you'd have a hard time getting spirits to go along with it! Think on it a bit more Heulyn. Just because we are dead does not mean we suddenly wish to be separate from the living. We are still members of this Empire, and we wish to live within it as the citizens we are in both life and death. Why move to some Spirit City, away from the activities of the living? Not to mention our families. Our connections exist both directly in the binding of spirit stones and emotionally to the Empire and our kin. So I see no reason for such a city."

“I admit city may have been the wrong word to use. The thought I had was more so something of a resort or an entertainment complex. Give spirits something to do instead of residing in soul gems or lingering around in their tombs.” Sucali tomb and the wall of stones come to mind. “Hah, I should slow myself down. Otherwise I’ll end up spouting stuff that I have not much info on. Like whether or not the empire has a spirit labor union.” She semi-jokes after shaking her head. “You’re all rather traditional after all. If being in a galactic union can’t change you than the mad words of a little girl sure as hell can’t cause any ripples in the sea.” By no means was she critiquing them, praising them more than anything. She had long come to acceptance that people follow their own view of the world and all she can do is sail along the current to watch them. “Ah my radicalism aside. The obelisk system is neat. Could I do anything to help?”

The radical ideas from the Amziel certainly were an oddity to the Anubite Spirit, and some of the terms he didn't even quite understand. He seemed a bit confused at the mention of labor unions for instance, "I am not quite sure why a labor force would need to unify, distribution of work is generally the best idea. Lots of jobs to do, better to split them up. Spirits even more so. But all the same yes, we Anubites are very attached to our traditions. They work after all. No other Empire has as much cohesion and stability as us, and we will outlast most civilizations. We outlasted the peak of the Zantines, Elis, and more. Whatever civilization you hail from will also be outlasted. Such is the way. We are not likely to change very much, because I see little reason for it. Why risk change when you already have a system that all can live in peacefully? Why risk the lives of every person in an Empire when you can instead put your effort into stabilizing their lives, allowing them to never need to worry? It works, as you can see." He then smiled at her offer to help, and he started to think, "Well, right now it's better you stay here, for when fighting breaks out. But for later perhaps you can assist by simply performing the courier duty. As these obelisks use my own incantations and prepared spells to facilitate communications, I need to be the one to cast them so as to make sure everything is calibrated just right. Which requires me to move. Just need my soul carried via spirit stone to the obelisks I have commissioned. I have to wait for those to be fully built, but that will soon come!"

She lightly shook her head. “As I said. It would be best to disregard my words. Just nonsensical chatter. My therapists say I do it to distract myself which makes sense in a way.” It was ironic to hear him claim they will outlast the civilization she came from. Considering they already got that in the bag. It was also a bit morbidly amusing for him to say the system guarantee a peaceful life considering a civil war is about to break out. She almost expected a gunshot to rang out to top off the comedic effect. “A little bad timing to talk about stability but I understand what you mean. I’ve seen my fair share of civilizations that had progressed too much and/or stagnated too much. Even saw one that was closest to the ideal of a ‘Utopia’.”

She pauses a second. Wondering if she should share the story. She saw no reason to considering they may be here for awhile. “Before I arrived there. Qing was a peaceful utopia. By that point in time, the civilians are for the most part completely unquestioning of their way of life and ignorant of the outside world, with all their needs provided for by Sho Heaunj Do. And yet, because of their ignorance, they seem happy. There's no war, no disease, no poverty, not even old age. Just about every facet of mortal suffering seemed to have been eliminated by the Emperor. They just live dull, yet peaceful, day-to-day lives. To us living in the modern world, it might seem repulsive at first glance that a single dictator controls every aspect of these peoples' lives. To those like the Emperor, Qing Liangyo, and Xiong Yo, that kind of their world is their ideal. Something that they worked very hard to create and uphold. They consider freedom and intelligence among the masses to be the root of all evil, breeding violence and discrimination. So they banned and suppress both of it. Sho Heaunj Do, protects them, provides for their every need, and does not expect anything in return. As a result, his people have been raised to be ignorant of nature and completely dependent on him. Much like the relationship between a person and a domesticated pet. With that said, they’re not around anymore.” She ended on that vague note for she said all she needed to address the topic of a perfect society. That Utopia is truly that, an impossible concept because perfection cannot coexist with individuality.

It was a rough experience to see it collapse. They let everything they had built be destroyed because despite having made themselves a perfect being, no because of that they could see that their utopia was a flawed place that suffered. And entrusted the future of Amzielean to Chaulkuau, believing that a flawed amziel could create a world where people could thrive and prosper. She could still remember hearing the Emperor voice on the wind as he addressed his people in the farmland. Watching her and the others aboard their vehicle to leave.

’Behold, those who are leaving. They bear the responsibility called the future on their backs and challenge an increasingly treacherous path. The only thing we can do is see them off. Oh, do not worry, I will not impart such a trial upon you. There is nothing to clamor about, nothing to be afraid of, together let us sleep in this tranquil dream. This place is a painting that failed to become an ideal. The politician who attempted to bear all of amzielean on their shoulders entrusted those many years of duty to the foreign traveler. All that is left is to, with our beloved countrymen, wait for our peaceful ending.’

Over time she came to understand the fixation people had for absolute morality. To have a clear black and white they can take comfort in. It is nice and simple. Not many people can cope with the mindset of us vs. them. “Sociopolitics aside. After all this and my sessions. I will help out in the recovery efforts. For that is the greatest moral responsibility falls on those who were a part of the war. To rebuild the economy and repair the scars done. I believe my therapists would like me to do something like charity work. Keeps me busy and occupied.” She quip in her musings. “Hm ya you’re right. I hardly know the city all that well. The only roads I know well is this part to the temple-fortress. I would’ve gotten lost.” She was a bit underplaying herself for she would be able to get a good sense of direction with both her sensory prowess and her servant. It was a display of her humility that regressed to self-doubt. “Courier duty? I don’t mind that. Especially considering there are a few people that would like to see me out of my room. Heh, but yeah that’s really neat to hear!”